But to return to a happier topic, today is Mother's Day! To all of the mothers who read this blog (as far as I know, just my Mom), your work is appreciated. Little-known fact: one of the oldest known Egyptian inscriptions is an explanation of why you should respect your Mother for her unconditional love to you, as her child. To paraphrase, I believe that the reasoning involved the fact that you made disgusting messes all over her when you were an infant, and yet she was not grossed out. Whew.
Because it's Mother's Day, rather than hooking into my Spotify account as I normally do, I've just loaded an online audio version of "Eishet Chayil," (אשת חיל), literally meaning "A Woman of Valor," the traditional Jewish song celebrating women (actually drawn from Sefer Mishlei, the Book of Proverbs, which I am learning right now). My Dad used to recite this in English for my Mom on some Friday nights. I know that there is some criticism that the song is sexist, limiting women to a domestic role, but I realize that nearly the entire song applies to my own Mother! This post, dedicated to her, is an explanation of why she is so awesome, using Eishet Chayil as a template.
"A Woman of Valor, who can find? She is more precious than pearls.
Her husband places his trust in her and profits only thereby."
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
I can find her! At 309 Salem Drive she resides. Yes, way more precious to me than any shiny object. And, yes, my Dad totally trusts my Mom, and gets a lot out of it. I know that I personally depend upon her a great deal, emotionally, and when I call her at least once a week, it's as much to cheer me up and to give me courage as to assure her that I'm not sick, injured, or in jail. I doubt that there is any day in which she does not do something good for at least one member of my family.
"She seeks out wool and flax and cheerfully does the work of her hands."
My Mom is all over textiles! Knitting, lacemaking, and embroidery in particular, but also spinning, weaving, quilting, sewing, and crocheting. And it keeps her very cheerful: you should just see her when she finishes a pair of socks or a scarf. She even studied indigenous weaving practices in a Mitla, a town in Mexico not far from Oaxaca.
"She is like the trading ships, bringing food from afar."
She keeps me well fed, and really enjoys the ethnic section in Wegmans. I'm just saying, that we have some very diverse food in my house when she's cooking (i.e. always): Thai tofu curry, Moroccan stew, curried parsnip pie, Chinese tofu soup, felafel, New England corn chowder, cole slaw, Cuban beans and rice, almond-eggplant enchiladas... In other words, lots of food from around the world!
"She gets up while it is still night to provide food for her household, and a fair share for her staff."
My Mom wakes up at 5:15 am. Legit. If she's up at 7:00, she's up late. And it's impossible to be hungry when I'm home: she makes super-certain that everyone gets enough helpings at dinner. We don't really have a "staff," though.
"She considers a field and purchases it, and plants a vineyard with the fruit of her labors."
My Mom loves to garden! She loves digging in the dirt, and even when we were abroad for six months in England, people thought otherwise when they saw her front garden, because it was so well-kept! Flowers, herbs, she does everything! Her enemies: deer, the entire corvidae family, dandelions, and honeysuckle.
"She invests herself with strength and makes her arms powerful."
My Mom used to scoop ice cream when she was my age, and her arms got really strong! My Dad used to pick her up at Gifford's, in Silver Spring, Maryland, where she worked. She told me that she used to have ice cream all the way up her arms from the heavy scooping-action! And now that it's nice outside, she takes brisk walks in the morning in Sapsucker Woods, to keep herself fit!
"She senses that her trade is profitable; her light does not go out at night."
She was working really, really hard on her thesis, and then, on her dissertation! She does go to bed at a reasonable hour each night, though!
"She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her palms hold the spindle."
What did I tell you about the textiles! And have I ever shown you the pair of socks that she made me? And if you ever see her wearing a sweater, it's probably one that she knitted herself. She gives away many of the scarves and baby booties that she knits.
"She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy."
My Mom is really generous. I remember that the early morning of the day that the earthquake in Haiti occurred two years ago, the first thing she told me was that it had occurred, and the second thing, that she and my Dad had already sent aid money. She is always making trips to the Salvation Army to give them the old clothing that my brothers and I have grown out of, and always donating books to the Friends of the Library booksale.
"She has no fear of the snow for her household, for all her household is dressed in fine clothing.
She makes her own bedspreads; her clothing is of fine linen and luxurious cloth."
We have very warm flannel sheets in my house, and my Mom is always really scrupulous about bringing them out in the wintertime. Did I mention that she does the laundry in my house?
"Her husband is known at the gates, where he sits with the elders of the land."
Yeah, my Dad is a Cornell professor. That's about as close as you can get to be 'sitting with the elders of the land.' He's not a judge, though, as the first part of this verse indicates (judges used to sit at the city gates).
"She makes and sells linens; she supplies the merchants with sashes."
I don't think that my Mom has ever sold her work, although she has taught others how to knit. She might also still be president of the Finger Lakes Lace Guild Society. I can't remember.
"She is robed in strength and dignity, and she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth with wisdom and a lesson of kindness is on her tongue."
My Mom is very optimistic, and, unlike her youngest son, capable of seeing the consequences of her actions. She never speaks stupidly, or in any way that makes me ashamed, and knows how to be kind much better than many other people I know.
"She looks after the conduct of her household and never tastes the bread of laziness."
My Mom keeps my house running, emotionally and physically. She works super-hard all the time. When she was writing her dissertation, she would just submerge herself in her work for hours at a time, yet always made dinner. Always.
"Her children rise up and make her happy; her husband praises her:'
Many women have excelled, but you excel them all!'"
I think that's what's happening right now. Happy Mothers' Day, Mom!
"Grace is elusive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God -- she shall be praised.
Give her credit for the fruit of her labors, and let her achievements praise her at the gates."
Yes, yes, and yes! OK, I know that I would never have had a Bar Mitzvah if it hadn't been for my Mom. The fruits of her labors are many, and include, but are not limited to: warm socks, the best tzimmus ever, and scholarly articles on Elizabethan dress that make the front page of the top costume history journals and are translated into foreign languages. I'm giving her credit, and I hope that others do, too.
OK, that's the end of the poem. Now, I'm going to hit "publish," call her up, and try to sing as much of it to her in Hebrew as I can.
~JD
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