Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween Frights

Guess what: it's Halloween!  I'll probably spend the night studying for my thesis, or my art history class, rather than out, having fun.  Because I'm behind in most aspects of my life, and need to get back on top of them.  However, in order to entertain you all, and myself, I thought I'd come up with a list of really, really scary things that could happen this Halloween.  Prepare yourself for these bone-chilling possibilities that occurred to the darkest parts of my imagination...

France declares that it has changed its official language to Esperanto, and French becomes a dead language.
A worldwide soybean blight prevents the food industry from making tofu for a year.
Wegmans goes out of business.
A computer virus in the registrar's office changes my official status to that of a Freshman majoring in Chemical Engineering.
Victor quits as House Manager, and I need to learn how to use power tools.
Hurricane Sandy destroys the power lines and floods the basement, and I need to pour out all the water by hand.
The Cornell Library system decides to discontinue Borrow Direct and Interlibrary Loan.
Gannett diagnoses me with chicken pox again, and quarantines me for a week.
Somebody steals my journal, my laptop, my Kindle, my phone, and my student ID, all on the same day.
Due to funding cuts, Cornell eliminates the History Department, after changing its motto to "Any person, any useful study."
Due to funding cuts, Cornell forces me to drop out, after changing its motto to "Any useful person, any study."
Another squirrel chews through all of the screens in the CJL, the boiler breaks again, the Internet ceases functioning in the house, and the second washing machine and both dryers break, all on the same day.
I learn that nobody actually understands Aramaic, and that the Talmud is really just a random assortment of Hebrew letters, and all Talmudic quotes are made up on the spot.
The same as above, but with Aristophanes and Euripides.
I need to read a post thesis even more boring than "Cornell SDS" for my Thesis class.
Cornell Student Assembly calls a student strike, à la Française.
My new tefillin are also revealed not to be kosher. 
Peninah tells me that she'll stop learning with me.
Harry reveals to me that he actually just makes up all of the things he tells me.
I destroy my hot water pitcher again (oops, that just happened today -- I hope that nobody was looking forward too much to boiled eggs at Alternative Vegetarian Seudah Shlishit).
One of my professors declares that we will be having a nighttime prelim on the night of the Matisyahu concert.
One of my classmates or residents develops a crush on me.
My main secondary sources for my thesis turn out to be just excerpts from Wikipedia.
Spotify and Pandora stop providing music for the United States. 
Someone recalls every single one of my books from the Cornell Library system on the same day.
Lazar turns into a super-villain, with laser super-powers (actually, that could be kind of cool).
I accidentally erase the Word document with all of my thesis notes, and then lose the flash drive with the backup.
Lori and Cory Cole decide to change their mind about making Hero U.
Cornell requires students to pass a pop culture test in order to graduate.
The new Facebook login page reads "It's free, but for a limited time only!"
A new nutrition study reveals that cocoa causes memory loss.
All of Susan's animals escape, immediately after she buys a whole tank full of hissing cockroaches.
The Cornell clock-tower collapses.
The Hobbit movie is cancelled.
I wake up with Eli in my bed.
I wake up in Eli's bed.

Happy Halloween, and don't be too scared!
~JD

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Smart Phone, Smart Baby

A week and a half ago, I first activated my new smartphone, a Samsung Galaxy.  It has lived up to its name, reminding me on a regular basis that it's significantly smarter than I am.  Moreover, I'm often not smart enough to understand how to use it optimally.  I don't mind: I'm used to the people and machines around me understanding the world better than I do (as the single History major in a house full of people studying mostly the natural sciences, and as the only member of my family without either a Bachelor's or an advanced degree).  It's a big world, there are many forms of technology to master, so many disciplines to understand, so many worlds within worlds and specialties within specialties, that it's a little bit overwhelming at times.  It reminds me of a poem by a certain curmudgeonly Luddite:

Men say they know many things;
But lo! they have taken wings, —
The arts and sciences,
And a thousand appliances;
The wind that blows
Is all that any body knows.
 
There is someone I know who understands phones fairly well, and she's about twenty years younger than I am, give or take a few months.  Noveya, Eliana and Rav Ami's baby, is fascinated by phones.  She has learned to press them against her head, and say "hi," although I'm not exactly certain whether she knows that the phone is for communicating with other people over long distances.  She learned about phones before she learned her first three-syllable word (which was "Elana"), and she still hasn't quite figured out stairs, yet. (All of this is absolutely adorable, by the way, and everyone who meets Noveya immediately starts drooling over her.)

I've read that the first thing that the first thing that an infant learns is the five-finger pattern of the human hand (ironic, because the gene for six fingers is dominant, and what we think of as the "normal" allele is recessive).  I wonder what the next things learned are?  Noveya is the first baby I've been around regularly, and observing her growing, learning, and developing.  Some of the ways that she understands names and naming are fascinating, yet so obvious.  For a while, she called both parents "Mommy," or something close to that, probably because "Ami" and "Mommy" sound almost identical.  Now, she's learned to call them "Aba" and "Ama," getting closer.  She's learned Lani's and Judy's names, and called Ilan "baby" before, because that's what he says when he speaks to her.  Isn't that what a name is?  The word that we assign to a particular person, place, or thing, in order to indicate it to others?  And if that person always makes the same sound, wouldn't it be logical to assign that sound as it's verbal tag, i.e. its name?

Homo sapiens has been around for about 200,000 years, and might have been able to speak from its origin (don't quote me on that).  We all take speech for granted; of course normal, functioning babies will learn to speak.  We take plenty of other things for granted: permanent dwellings, mass-produced clothing, urban spaces, salt... Phones, at least in middle-class America?  I wonder what kind of technology Noveya's children will take for granted, and what the phones that they'll be holding next to their heads will look like?

~JD


"While the Champagne Campaign never captured the public’s imagination as D-Day did, it did signal the first time, and probably the only time, that gastronomic considerations had a direct bearing on military planning.  It was not by chance that French general Lucien de Monsabert, who helped plan the campaign, made sure that French troops advanced up the western side of the Rhône, where the best vineyards were planted.  The Americans went up the other side, where the lesser growths were" (Don and Petie Kladstrup, Wine and war: the French, the Nazis, and the battle for France's greatest treasure, 184).

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Fall Break in Boston

When I think of Boston, I almost immediately think of Bruno, my Parisian cousin.  Most of Bruno's time in the United States has been in Boston, including the time he spent becoming fluent in English, which is why, ironically, he's the only person I know with a noticeable Boston accent.
My older brother now lives in Boston, and, I left for the city from Ithaca on Friday morning with RG and two other Cornellians for, unfortunately leaving HG behind, because he got sick at the last moment.  PF also came, but ended up coming separately on Sunday.  It really feels as if Boston was a popular destination for Fall Break: MK, AI, and SH also had reasons to be there, and ES was considering coming, too.  RG told me that he had literally received 50-some requests for rides to Boston when he registered our road trip online.
I unfortunately did not have any friends to host me on Friday night through nightfall on Saturday, but AA got me in touch with one of her friends, who let me crash in his apartment.  I slept through most of the car ride up, having deliberately deprived myself of sleep the night before, because I decided that I may as well sleep in the car, given that I would not be able to work.  The car ride was fairly uneventful, i.e., no accidents, and RG dropped me off safely on Windsor Street, in Cambridge at about 2:30 pm.  I dropped my suitcase and lulav off, and took a hike south and west, to Harvard campus.  It was a beautiful day, and walking through Cambridge was an entirely different experience than, say, walking through New York City: although more urban than Ithaca, it didn't feel like a metropolis; at least, not where I was walking.  The School of Design was incredibly easy to find, and the Landscape Architecture department was likewise easy.  Sadly, the person for whom I was searching in the Harvard School of Design was not so easy to find, and I ended up waiting about an hour and a half, nervously moving from room to room, before I learned that this person was in the middle of a review session, and unavailable.  Too bad for me: I walked back to Windsor street, prepared for Shabbat, and left again for Harvard Chabad, where I hoped to see someone I knew.  I didn't but I did meet people with mutual acquaintances, as well as some new and interesting people.  I stayed for dinner, and had a fantastic conversation with a PhD student at Harvard studying French History.  I also met an friend of my favorite West Coast Google Employee.  I walked back to Windsor street, and fell asleep almost immediately.  The next morning, I returned to Chabad, received the 4th Aliyah, and met even more people, including a Cornell Student studying for the year at MIT, the fellow Yeshiva-student of RDB, a childhood friend of RS, and the undergraduate roommate of MW, currently studying at MIT.  So many people, so many connections!  It turned out that the MIT Hillel congregation hadn't had enough people to make a Minyan, so had come to Harvard Chabad; they invited me to spend the afternoon in their library, and to join them for 3rd Meal.  I did, and had a wonderful time.  They might have been the single friendliest group of people I met on this trip.  Following Havdallah, I collected my things on Windsor Street, had my first subway ride since I returned from Paris, and arrived at my brother's apartment, located on Beacon Hill in Boston, on the opposite bank of the Charles River.  It was his housewarming party, and I saw a lot of people I was happy to see again: GF, ZZ, JZ, PL, and, of course, the one and only PS, who now has his own blog, which you should check out, if you're into reading about painful exercise routines.  (Did I mention how fat and lazy I've gotten since May?)  I won a few rounds of pong with GF, which was amazing, before we both eventually lost.  AB, my brother's roommate, is fantastic, as is E, his girlfriend, and my brother's Tae Kwon Do associate.  The party dissolved very quickly and suddenly, and everyone staying the night collapsed in poses of varying awkwardness.
Up the next morning, Sunday, realized that I had work to turn in for my (bogus) thesis class. I did, on the roof deck, then ran off to Cambridge to meet NS.  I did a great job of failing to follow simple directions, and ended up maybe half-a-dozen blocks North of where I should have been, and was maybe 15 minutes late.  Luckily, NS called me, guided me, and found me, and I now know that I will never again make the mistake of crossing the wrong bridge to cross the Charles: this makes all the difference, really.  We sat in a cafe called Dwelltime, and I pumped him for all I was worth for information and advice about his teaching experience thus far.  I literally just made a few of the changes to my TFA application that he recommended to me.  PF and S met us there, having come from NYC, and we kept on talking back at NS's (very nice) new home.  PF, in contact with MA, made plans with me to meet chez SW that evening, after another visit to Harvard Chabad.  I scurried back to Boston on the subway, told my brother my plans, and ran off to Chabad for Erev Shemini Atzeret.  I finally crossed the Longfellow Bridge this time, and read the sidewalk chalk selections from one of Longfellow's many famous poems.  Because it's Chabad, they did Hakafot on the first night too, so I danced around, and enjoyed myself, and tried not to be worried about nobody else showing up whom I had expected to show up.  Thanks again to NS, I had a map to SW's apartment, and got there a little past eight, waiting for someone else to open the door for me.  It worked, and, hey, I made it!  It was so, so good to see some people who I hadn't seen since Cornell Graduation, back in May!  I ended up talking about my summer, and in retrospect, suspect that I came off as somewhat boastful, although that's not what I had intended.  How can I be boastful when I'm surrounded by such outstanding people, anyway?  I don't have that much about which I can really be that proud...  Oh, and there had been no intention to stand me up: plans just didn't work out as expected.
I walked back to Boston in the rain, got lost (wrong bridge again -- the last time, I swear), and didn't arrive until midnight.  I couldn't ring the bell, and I was settling down to possibly fall asleep in the doorway when, about a quarter to one, someone in the same building of 10 rooms returned, and let me in.  I crawled into bed, and crashed.
I got up on time the next morning to run all the way to Harvard Hillel, and arrive just before 9:00 am, when they started.  I ran just about the whole way.  I got to carry the second Sefer Torah, and got very excited when AS, whom I hadn't expected to see, walked in and stood behind me.  I saw AT, whom I probably wouldn't have recognized if she hadn't jogged my memory.  After kiddush, I led PF and S to Chabad, where they were going to eat, saw SW heading off to lunch, and walked back to Beacon Hill, without getting lost.  I did, however, stop by the synagogue/museum just across the street from his apartment, which is the oldest synagogue in Boston, and managed by a Cornell alumnus, class of '81.  I waited a little outside, and, eventually, someone let me in.  I spend the rest of the afternoon at my brother's afraid of being locked out again.  I also managed to read over 150 pages in my book on France 1940-1944, which was fantastic.  I'm still not as amazing as MA, though, who blows me away.
I barely scraped myself out of bed the next morning, did everything I needed to do on my own, which I could do on the roof deck, read some more, and then left for AT's apartment.  It was excellent to see her, and her guests, and to speak to her about Paris (she also studied abroad with EDUCO).  I also heard a lot more about a first acquaintance's love life than I think I'd ever want to know, but after a few more people arrived, I felt more comfortable.  And, guess what, IL's older sister was there!  She and her husband, who shares my name, came off as extremely friendly (and good at making quiche), although I wish that I had had more time to speak with them.  I left, left for Harvard Hillel again for the rest of the evening, for Mincha-Daf Yomi-Ma'ariv-Havdallah.  I drifted back to Boston after the end of the holiday, walking a few blocks with a guy whom I had met at AT's.  I showered (yes!), completed some applications, solidified my plans for tomorrow morning, checked my e-mail, and wrote this, finishing at around 1:00 am.
Wow, Boston and Cambridge are such wonderful cities, from what I've seen of them!  I wonder if I'll end up living here one day...
~JD