After a returning home from my term at Drisha, and spending the weekend back in Ithaca, I flew to Cincinnati, Ohio on Tuesday, June 2nd. For those of you (i.e. Harry) interested in what I read in public transportation, in the past few weeks at Drisha, I finally put Locke to rest, read John Stuart Mill's Utilitarianism in a few days (it was great), and since tried working my way through William James's Varieties of Religious Experience -- a somewhat dated classic. I kept on reading James on the plane rides from Ithaca to Philadelphia, and then from Philadelphia to Cincinnati. I also had the wonderful experience of texting Judy while in the Philadelphia airport, in order to let her know that I was in the vicinity of her family.
I've never been to Cincinnati before. Andrew and Allison picked me up at the airport, along with Allison's bridesmaid and friend from Westchester, Amanda. The drive from the airport gives a good view of the city, at a point aptly referred to as the cut-in-the-hill. The last time I saw Andrew and Allison was during my graduation Andrew dropped me off at the hotel where my family planned to stay. I realized that my parents wouldn't arrive for a few hours, and made a somewhat silly error in asking the hotel clerk where I could find a grocery store. Apparently, downtown Cincinnati is something of a food desert, a region where it's difficult to find fresh produce, and the directions I received sent me on a wild goose chase across the Ohio River that the clerk claimed would only last 20 minutes; I turned around after forty. Although it was stupid to walk around Cincinnati at dusk (I didn't know this, the safer neighborhoods of New York City, Boston, and Paris being the extent of my Metropolitan experience), I got a good view of the city. My walk took my right past the baseball stadium where the Cincinnati Reds play, and fireworks were launched as I passed by -- apparently the sign of a home run. I made it back to the corner of Vine and Sixth without being mugged or assaulted, thank goodness.
Wednesday morning, Andrew and Allison, members of Allison's nuclear family (she has three older brothers: Craig, Eric, and Brian), my parents and I all met for coffee together. The cafe felt like Gimme!, only transported to downtown Cincinnati. While my Father brought the Volvo to be repaired, my Mother and I returned to our hotel, where I wrote a few postcards and a letter. As I was walking to the post office around the corner to purchase stamps, my brother Sam arrived from the airport. Sam and I played chess without finishing the game (he was ahead in position, though, with no pieces captured). We got lunch together, and while we were discussing certain brotherly issues, I missed out on a run around the neighborhood with Andrew and Allison. Later that afternoon, we visited Andrew and Allison's apartment (note well: clean, well-lighted place) for a rehearsal of the wedding ceremony the next day, including the recitation of the seven blessings that we recited to and for them at the ceremony. Each of the groomsmen was paired up with one of the bridesmaids. I was paired with Allison's longtime friend -- Allison Davis. No, that is not a typo; the bridesmaid with whom I walked has the same maiden name as my now-sister-in-law. Allison Davis is a lot of fun -- very non-intimidating -- and we did our best to keep step with each other. After that, Andrew and Allison took the whole wedding party out to dinner at an Italian restaurant. I got to know the other groomsmen -- Andrew's Cincinnati friends Dan and Mike -- better, as well as Allison's two cousins. Andrew and Allison were working hard to speak with and sit down with absolutely everyone present, probably numbering in the twenties. They did a great job. Andrew and I shared (Harry, I hope you read this) an oatmeal stout with chocolate flavor, of all things. The whole party was quite happy, but a little tipsy. After dinner, the whole party went next-door to a low-key bar (got in with my NY driver's license), where we met many of the rest of the relatives attending the wedding, who hadn't been at the restaurant with us! I was incredibly excited to see my maternal and paternal aunts and uncles and cousins, whom I hadn't seen literally in a few years; my time in Israel and France has kept me away from any real opportunity to see the rest of my family. I'm fairly certain that April, 2011 was the last time I was with my Father's side of the family, for instance, and it has been even longer since I've seen my Mother's family.
Thursday morning, the day of the wedding, began -- with rain. It was just a light sprinkling, so it didn't cancel the morning 5k Fun Run that Andrew and Allison had planned. All four of our Silver Spring cousins participated. I was in Paris during Eli's Bar Mitzvah, and it was wonderful to see them all. All of them have grown (of course), although Hannah still uses the same sentence structure. As we were leaving from the starting line, the hotel where most of the wedding party was staying, my Aunt Debbie, my father's sister, arrived; I waved to her, and she pointed to me, saying "he's going to win!" The landmarks on the run included a well-known Cincinnati steakhouse, the Reds' baseball stadium, the Purple People Bridge, a very unusual-looking building on the south bank of the Ohio River, and the Cincinnati Smale Park. The first time I got lost was when I climbed up a stairway that I though would lead onto the Purple People Bridge, but only lead to an outlook -- a fancy name for a dead end. I wasn't the only one getting turned around, though: on the southern bank of the river, I found the other runners ahead of me actually running back towards me! With a map, and by staying close together, we somehow managed to avoid being separated. I was incredibly impressed with how good a runner Eli is becoming, seeing as he's not yet fifteen, and hadn't run for a few weeks prior to the Fun Run. I'm not much faster than I am; I look forward to being trounced by him at the next race, or the next, or the next. Speaking of trouncing, I'm not entirely certain who won -- I charged ahead as I thought we were approaching our goal, and so someone else presumably made it to the finish line before I did. Oh, well -- it was a Fun Run, after all. After the run, I changed into my suit, so that I wouldn't be caught off-guard and unprepared. Given the amount of time that it took me to tie my tie properly, I'm glad that I did, and although I ended up needing to re-tie it at the last moment, I wouldn't have been able to properly if I hadn't already had the thing tied. Soon after, someone lost a bow tie, and the Super Davis Bros. needed to find it. Luckily, Sam had the bright idea of asking at the front desk if such a bow tie had been lost, and, sure enough, that's where I found it. It was my job to distribute neckties to the groomsmen, and corsages to everyone who needed them. I found myself running around on various errands, re-shaving to make certain that all of the stubble was removed from my cheeks, and generally wearing myself out. We ended up delaying the wedding photoshoot until after we arrived at the wedding site, due to rain. In the midst of the craziness, I sat down, and fell sound asleep for around an hour. Soon after, it was time for the wedding bus to leave. We rounded everyone up from the hotels, also dropping by Allison and Andrew's apartment to pick up the flowers. Sam did a great job ferrying people to and from the bus with an umbrella. On the bus, I handed Amanda, Allison's maid of honor, some notes on visiting Paris; recommended sites, etc., taken mostly from my memories recorded back in the earliest months of this blog.
The wedding site was just across the border, in Kentucky. It was raining hard, reminding me of the flash floods that occurred the first time that I was in Israel, near the Dead Sea. We took the wedding photos as quickly as possible. I realize that this was probably the first time that I've played such an active role in a wedding -- ordinarily, I'm just a second cousin, or the son of a first cousin, or something like this. The photographer was not Sarah, nor was she Marissa, but, hey, she did her job quite well and efficiently. Andrew and Allison successively signed their Kentucky marriage license and their Ketubah. Andrew's Hebrew name is אָדָם, of course, and Allison had chosen אֲבִיָּה as her Hebrew name, for personal reasons. In Tanakh, interestingly enough, the name Aviyah is both a man's and woman's name, and is the name of the mother of Chizkiyahu (see II Chronicles 29:1; cf. II Kings 18:2, where her name is given as "Avi"), one of the most sympathetic kings of Judea in Biblical history, and the king responsible for repelling the Assyrians who destroyed the northern kingdom of Israel. The Ketubah and marriage license signed and witnessed, everyone drank champagne, and we realized that the other guests were beginning to arrive. Furthermore -- the fog was beginning to lift. Before long, we could see the skyscape of Cincinnati. For those of you keeping track of the date -- yes, there were going to be fireworks later, as it was the Fourth of July.
Soon after, the wedding ceremony itself was performed. That meant everyone walking down the aisle, and my not tripping, or making Allison Davis trip. Somehow I pulled that off. My brother Sam was Andrew's best man, and Allison's brother Craig escorted her down the aisle. Unfortunately, because I'm me, whenever I hear the wedding march music, I think about conjugating the verb aller in French, because that tune was the mnemonic device my Madame Bowman chose -- seven years ago. My Mother had made Allison's veil, and (no need for Beit Hillel's teaching from Ketubot 16b-17a) Allison really is gorgeous. Absolutely. Since then, I've looked back at photographs, and, yes, wow was the appropriate response. That aside, Andrew recited the formula "harei, at mekudeshet li b'tabat zu k'dat Moshe v'Yisrael," and Allison responded "harei, atah mekudash li b'tabat zu k'dat Moshe v'Yisrael." We all recited the seven blessings; I spoke sixth, and Sam, seventh. Allison's mother Marge also spoke -- she's an English teacher, and therefore got to quote poetry. We, the groomsmen and bridesmaids, got back in line, and receded out; Andrew and Allison got their privacy, and I ran off to see my family members.
I spoke to a lot of members of my extended family. On my Mother's side, I saw my Aunt Annie and Uncle John, my Aunt Susie, and my cousin Mary, and on my Father's side, I saw my Uncle Bobby and Aunt Lisa and their children Rachel, Eli, Sara, and Hannah, my Aunt Debbie and cousins Donna and Jessica (whom I haven't seen in an incredibly long time), Buddy and Dina, Jay and Karen, Ira and Gina, and Peter. I also found that I could get all the tonic water I wanted, gin included, at the open bar, and used it as an opportunity to expound upon the salubrious effects of quinine to my younger cousins. I was really excited to hear about all of the sports and other activities that my younger cousins are interested in. Rachel is leaning towards medicine, it looks like, which is exciting. Sara enjoys science and is playing field hockey, and Eli is running Track, and will soon join Cross-Country. Hannah loves talking and telling stories, and was incredibly excited to dance with me. Sam and I then jointly delivered the first of a series of seven speeches. Sam did a great job writing; I've never seen anyone write a speech on an excel document before, but he used it to organize themes and ideas to great effect. We talked about Andrew's readiness in giving advice and informed opinions, the extent that he will go to help people out, give them all the information that he can offer, because he really loves helping people. He also understands political and social issues much better than most people, and has a very particular way of speaking -- here Sam brought in the business-speak jokes: "If this bagel were our client, what would it have to say about our cream cheese service?" However, for all of his sophistication and knowledge of good food and good food etiquette, at home, Andrew really just enjoys eating Cheerios, while instructing Sam or me how to play The Legend of Zelda better. After our speech, quite a few people congratulated us both, telling us that we were a riot. Sam came up with the best lines, organized everything, and delivered all of the difficult lines; I'm really glad that I had him to rely on.
Amanda, Allison Davis, Allison's three brothers Brian, Eric, and Craig, and, finally, my parents, gave their speeches after ours. My parents had a great act where my Dad explained all of the things that he had wanted to use as analogies for the wedding experience -- baseball, Alfred Hitchcock movies, etc. -- and explained that my mother would not allow him to include them, as he did so tearing up the paper that purportedly contained the speech. Then my Mother gave a few words of encouragement, we all danced the Hora. Although the live band did a fine job, I think that the wedding guests need to practice their Havah Negilah a little bit. I danced next to Sam's friend Sara, whom I met for the first time at this wedding, and whom I think my entire family likes very much. The dance floor remained open. I tried to dance with as many of my relatives as I could -- when you're around your extended family as little as I am on account of being overseas (I'm going to miss the next Bat Mitzvah, too), you really try to participate as much as you can. Later in the evening, fireworks were fired from the city, of which we had a brilliant view: the fog had entirely cleared, although the evening remained cool.
Everyone still in town the next morning, Friday, had brunch together the next morning. I sat with my Aunt Annie, and talked about teaching with her. She is a science teacher in Massachusetts, and offered me advice, because she know that I'm interested in becoming a teacher. It was at this point that Sam pointed out how, for the first time, both sides of our family -- the Davis side and the Seaton side -- were intermingling, because, after all of the B'nei Mitzvot, they all know each other more or less, but they don't really know Allison's family. Likewise, when Andrew and Allison have a child who gets married, I guess that my parents and Sam and I will by that point know Allison's family well enough to socialize with them easily, but not know the "other" side of the family as well. Soy milk and fruit for breakfast -- it felt good after the wedding food. I also received my graduation present from the Silver Spring branch of my family: The Hare with Amber Eyes, by Edmund de Waal. It's a family history, and really a history of Europe starting in the belle epoque, told through the take of a collection of netsuki, small Japanese wooden sculptures. For a good chunk of the afternoon, I took a walk along the Ohio with my Mother, her two twin sisters Annie and Susie, and my Uncle John. We had a plan to take short boat tour down the river, but changed our minds. We took a very similar route to that of the Fun Run, including a passage over the Purple People Bridge. I ended up in a Barnes and Noble, reading Chekhov -- it's funny how these things work out, isn't it? We had a leisurely walk back along the river, and I talked a lot about my international experiences. Back at the hotel, I learned that, no, I could not light candles anywhere inside, according to the management. Oh, well. I the first 20 pages or so of The Hare with Amber Eyes, then left for the Reds game.
If you're a sports fan, you're going to be very disappointed with my reporting of the game. In my defense, though, this was my first Major League game ever, and I wasn't really in a position to score the game, as some of my family members were. During the national anthem, I expected everyone else to scream "red" like I did, but, no, it seems that this is only a Big Red tradition, not a Reds tradition. The Reds were playing the Seattle Mariners: for those of you not super-attuned, the Reds are a National League team, and the Mariners are an American League team; this is an example of interleague play, but because it was played at a National League stadium, the pitchers of both teams needed to bat. As expected, the Mariners pitchers always struck out (as my Dad said, they probably hadn't been at bat since college). I was not expecting two triples in one game, by #5 on the Mariners. The crowd favorite seems to be outfielder Shin-Soo Choo; the in-field camera flashed a lot of shots of people at the stadium holding up signs supporting him, some in English, some in Korean. When he got a double to drive in the first run for Cincinnati, the crowd went nuts. The nine innings passed relatively quickly, in under three hours. Something I never realized from the fragments of baseball that I see on television is how many non-baseball-related events are taking place in the stadium. In addition to the concessions, and the poor people lugging them through the stadium, between every inning, there is some trivia game or on-site interview flashed on the large screen in the stadium. Branding is all over the place; I think that I saw more logos and advertisements live at the game than I would have if I had only watched the game on television. In spite of all of the commercialism, the game was exciting (the Mariners won), and a fireworks show followed soon afterwards. Leaving the game was also a memorable event: the stoplights near the stadium hold on red for long periods of time, so that pedestrians leaving the game can safely cross -- for traffic, this effect must be worse than that on CU campus when students are changing classes. My family tried to think of everything we could remember about ancient Persia for Sam's friend Sara, who is Iranian. There was an after-party at Andrew's apartment, on his roof, including all of the drinks that had survived the wedding celebration. I think Andrew's friend Dan is forever going to remember me for climbing go the top of the building without using the elevator (it was Friday night).
Saturday was rainy and uneventful. Sunday morning, the remnants met for coffee and breakfast again, and, afterwards, Donna drove Sam and me back to the Cincinnati airport, and I flew back to Ithaca by way of Philadelphia, reading the next hundred and fifty or so pages of The Hare with Amber Eyes.
Bottom line: it was an awesome wedding, and I'm extremely happy to have Allison in my family now. I hope that everyone else at Andrew and Allison's wedding enjoyed themselves as much as I did.
~JD
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